Is it just me?
By Dianne Baskin
Does a Park Avenue address sound more prestigious than nine hundred north Lake Shore Drive or sixty-eight Locust Road in Winnetka or nine hundred South Elm in Hinsdale? Location, location, location. Enter a pretender to the throne. Her grace or her majesty would be an apt title. The woman I speak of has spent most of February in the newspaper because she is in court counter suing her husband of ten years to nullify her prenup agreement which has provided her with forty million dollars over ten years of marriage. According to her it is not enough and she signed it under duress. Do you know how to say pushing the envelope or is pimp past her stop language that rings familiar. Nevertheless this is akin to the theater of the absurd. If Ivana got it in her divorce she knew how to keep her mouth shut and not look a gift horse in the mouth. Nothing like understanding your worth. I swear I ain’t ‘hatin’.
I believe it is exceedingly important that women are treated fairly and fathers need to provide adequately for their children. I understand alimony and child support though few women of color ever receive it. In this case there are three children under the age of ten. The personal wealth of the Mother is no laughing matter and the husband’s wealth is in another stratosphere. It is said he is the richest man in the State. Husband is seeking a divorce from Miss Lady. Through the articles it has never been clear to me what her contributions to the marriage were. A picture of her would not lead you to believe she is a trophy wife or that she helped increase his wealth by her activities. Do not get me wrong Miss Lady may have done all these things and more. I am simply trying to understand her play book. I swear I ain’t ‘hatin’.
Husband has a sixty page tax return so we talking serious bucks here. Therefore Miss Lady has asked for two thousand dollars a month for stationary (must be with gilt edges) and seven thousand two hundred dollars for restaurant bills (we talking Gibson’s every night) with another six thousand eight hundred dollars for groceries (no Jewel’s for Miss Lady). Maybe her guest eat caviar at every setting. The article never did establish if she could boil water yet, I did not see a request to pay for a chef. The laundry list of must haves had me rolling on the floor laughing until tears ran down my face. I have never minded being born Black it’s the dollar limitations that make me crazy. This is not about me so let me get back to the sordid details.
This story seemed awfully bizarre to me and maybe you share that thought. The public arguments of this couple have been trivialized by constant repetition. Divorce is a serious and heart wrenching matter particularly when young children are involved. The bitterness which seems to exist between the couple is being exacerbated by the Mother’s request to move the children to New York with reasonable visitation for the Father. Of course the husband has a private plane and can easily accommodate access to his children. I question whether or not the best interest of the children will be met. I think a therapist will tell you on the surface it does not seem that way.
When you really evaluate the dynamics the children will live well but their emotional well being may be sacrificed because two adults are in a bitter contest of wills. Of course their life-style will be extravagant however, the adverse conditions under which their lives will play out may include fatigue, an emotional upheaval of familiar routines along with a myriad of other psychological issues that could make a psychiatrist recuse themselves from working with the babies.
The I am in it to win it attitude of the parents will ultimately demoralize the children. I may not have an MD after my name but I believe most professionals would agree with the thinking. If a mediator was allowed to engage the parents they might begin by telling the adults to model some mature kind of behaviors when relating to their children. I for one am quite disillusioned with the arrows and darts being thrown. In my humble opinion both parents are exhibiting egregious behavior and they need to put a pin in it or at least keep it out of the press. One day the children will be old enough to read the press clippings and with social media their friends can easily share the horrendous information. How can they be expected to function adequately upon reading about their parent’s divorce proceedings?
It is often said the rich live, think, and operate differently than the rest of the world. That may be so however, power and money do not give you a license to put your children at risk. I think I once heard a story about a rich man passing through a needle’s eye. Maybe you heard it too. Someone please sit this super rich couple down and remind them of the real important things in life because being a pretender to the throne is not one of them. I swear I ain’t ‘hatin’.